#alternativefacts

I learned two key lessons over the last couple of weeks.

Lesson 1: We live in a world where you can no longer hang up on someone when you’re mad. They just call back and say “We got disconnected.”

There’s a whole pile of crazy that came out of this realization. When I have the inevitable dropped call when I’m crossing the Bay Bridge, I’ll wonder if we got disconnected or if I made her mad! If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have LOTS of crazy conversations with myself. Ease my paranoia – PLEASE call me back if we get disconnected!

Lesson 2: One cannot tell a joke on Facebook using a trending cultural marker. The fact that it’s trending means some people won’t have heard about it, realize it’s a joke, and end up a little embarrassed. I end up embarrassed too.

Clearly, I have issues.

I do, however, want to talk about the second lesson because it’s had some longer term surprising results. Let me explain what happened.

The infamous concept of “alternative facts” was introduced to the world in response to estimating the size of the crowd at the 2017 inauguration. I noticed many people (myself included) taking this opportunity to say something BLATANTLY UNTRUE about oneself. For example, one of my friends of shorter stature suddenly claimed to be 5’9”. She is not, not even close. I joined in.

This was my post:

I had not hit goal weight. Not even close. And yet my post garnered lots of “Go you!” type comments. Somewhere, buried in there, I tried to emphasize the joke part, but it seemed to be lost. I was embarrassed. I also started to think, “Crap, when these people see me they’ll KNOW I haven’t hit my goal weight.” I did realize that some of the comments might have been jokes to respond to my joke. Sadly, the revolution of the negative self-talk had already started.

Again, clearly, I have issues.

Fortunately, I have 3D LILA to help me ponder my self-imposed funk. As my funnier and sassier alter ego, I kept wondering: what would LILA do? I came to this conclusion:

If the whole idea of 3D LILA is to let go of the scale, to stop berating myself about a stupid number, then isn’t the idea of “goal weight” ridiculous and self-destructive too?

I think it is. The more I’ve thought about it, the more liberated I’ve felt. So, technically, my post wasn’t an #alternativefact. It was just the wrong measure. I don’t want to “be” a thing or a number; I want to “do” a thing or a number.

• I want to run a sub-5 hour marathon.
• I want to do a proper cartwheel.
• I want the energy and strength to be able to DO everything I want to do.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is not an #alternativefact.